Acton Bowen, 37, was the founder of the Acton Bowen Outreach Ministries and his
website, now offline, described him as “one of the nation’s leading
student pastors.” Bowen is being charged with second-degree sodomy, enticing a child to
enter a vehicle or house for immoral purposes, and second-degree sex
abuse. “Sodomy in the second degree”
in Alabama is defined as someone over the age of 16 who engages in
“deviate sexual intercourse” – i.e., oral or anal sex – with someone
between the ages of 12 or 16. Police released no information about the victim other than that he’s a boy between the ages of 12 and 16. “He is currently doing well and has been in a safe environment since
police were first notified,” Hoover police Captain Gregg Rector said. Rector said that Bowen was friends with the victim’s family. “This is certainly one of the more disturbing cases that we’ve
investigated in quite some time,” he said. “Mr. Bowen is in a
highly-respected position of influence and he is trusted by many. We
believe he betrayed that trust in the worst kind of way.” Police started investigating the case three weeks ago, and, on
Monday, the Jefferson County District Attorney’s Office issued a warrant
for Bowen’s arrest. “When we first learned of these accusations we wanted to make sure we
investigated thoroughly in order to get the truth,” said Hoover Police
Chief Nick Derzis. “The victim in this case is a brave young man and he
should be commended for coming forward.”
William Barrett Riddleberger, cover star for a dating website for Trump supporters has been outed as a child abuser, it is reported. Reports in the USA said the face of trump.dating was William Barrett Riddleburger, who was convicted in 1995 of making a sex tape with an underage girl. The
case took place in Guilford County, North Carolina, and he was found
guilty of felony indecent liberties with a child, according to state
records. The Greensboro News and Record plus Triad City Beat
reported the conviction stemmed from a video of him having sex with a
15-year-old when he was 25.
An Ohio lawmaker who routinely touted his Christian faith and
anti-LGBT views has resigned after being caught having sex with a man in
his office. Wes Goodman, who is the Republican state legislator for Ohio, is
married to a woman who is assistant director of an annual anti-abortion
rally known as March for Life. The right-wing legislator, who pushed “family values”, was reportedly
witnessed having sex with a man inside his office who was not employed
by the legislator. According to the Columbus Dispatch,
the observer told Ohio House Chief of Staff Mike Dittoe what had
happened on Tuesday afternoon. Mr Dittoe responded by telling House
Speaker Republican Cliff Rosenberger who in turn met with Mr Goodman.
A married former cabinet minister sent a young woman sexually explicit
messages after rejecting her application for a junior role in his
parliamentary office, a Telegraph investigation can disclose. Stephen Crabb, a devout Christian who
stood for the Conservative leadership last year, admitted saying "some
pretty outrageous things" to a woman after interviewing her for a job.
A Romanian Orthodox bishop has resigned after a tape of him allegedly having gay sex. Corneliu Barladeanu, the Bishop of Huși, was rocked by scandal this
month over the shocking tape, which showed him having gay sex.
The Bishop was an influential voice within the ultra-conservative
church, which is strongly opposed to LGBT rights and lobbied against the
2001 repeal of a law that criminalised homosexuality. But Barladeanu was left with his reputation in tatters when the tape leaked online. The video, which has racked up more than 180,000 views, shows Barladeanu and a student at his seminary. kissing and performing oral sex acts on each other.
An anti-gay Georgia pastor who said that the victims of the Orlando
massacre ‘got what they deserved’ has been found guilty of eight counts
of child molestation of a young boy and girl who attended his church. A
jury took just one hour to decide their verdict. Kenneth Adkins, 56, has also fought against expanding non-discrimination protections to LGBT people in Jacksonville, Florida.
During the battle for Jacksonville’s ordinance, Adkins dressed in
drag and made threats on Facebook, saying, “I am gonna ‘pee’ next to
your women in the women’s bathroom and let’s see how y’all feel.”
Police have released body cam footage of ‘traditional values’
politician Ralph Shortey, who was caught in a motel room with a teenage
male prostitute. Shortey was a Republican state Senator and a senior member of Donald
Trump’s primary campaign team in Oklahoma, but quit earlier this year after he was arrested on child prostitution charges.
The ‘traditional values’ politician, who is married with children,
was discovered in a hotel room with a 17-year-old boy who Shortey had hired as a prostitute.
An anti-gay Republican candidate in North Carolina worked as a drag
queen performer and emcee known as ‘Miss Mona Sinclair,’ according to a
bombshell report. Steve Wiles, a conservative North Carolina state Senate candidate who
has been outspoken in his support of the state’s same-sex marriage ban,
worked as a female impersonator and drag-show emcee earlier in his
life, the Winston-Salem Journal reported over the weekend. Wiles, 34, worked at a gay-friendly Winston-Salem lounge called Club
Odyssey from 2002 to 2010, where he directed a weekly drag show, the
club’s former owner Randy Duggins told the Journal.
An anti-gay pastor in Nashville has been charged with molesting children across two decades. Pastor Matthew Dennis ‘Denny’ Patterson of Nolensville Road Baptist
Church in Nashville, Tennessee, was arrested by police after members of
the congregation reported that he had made requests to “engage in
strange activities” with children.
A six-month investigation into the complaints found multiple victims, most of them boys, who were molested from 1998 to 2017. Patterson, 45, has been indicted on eight counts of aggravated sexual battery in relation to the incidents.
A ‘traditional values’ Republican lawmaker in Utah who is married
with three kids has resigned over allegations he hired prostitutes. Republican lawmaker Jon Stanard, who represented District 62 in the
Utah House of Representatives, resigned abruptly earlier this week
citing “immediate personal and family concerns”.
The lawmaker, who has three kids with his wife, claimed on his
campaign website: “I am a strong advocate for conservative family
values. I am Pro Life, as well as for Traditional Marriage.” His website also claimed: “The most important thing in Jon’s life is
his family. He enjoys being able to spend time with his wife and three
children every chance he can get.” But while he’s willing to cite “tradition” in order to prevent gay
people from marrying, a newspaper story this week questioned whether he
takes a rather non-traditional approach to his own wedding vows.
The Daily Mail published allegations that the lawmaker hired a sex
worker on at least two occasions, paying her $250-a-time for a one-hour
session. The lawmaker has not publicly denied the claims.
A male escort has sent a 1,200-page dossier to the Vatican naming 40 religious figures as being “actively gay”. The file contains message logs from WhatsApp, Facebook, Grindr and
Telegram that were allegedly shared between 34 priests and six
seminarians and male sex workers.
Photographs of an explicit nature were also included the document. Francesco Mangiacapra, who works as a sex worker in Italy, sent the dossier. In a statement,
he said that he was annoyed with the hypocrisy in the Catholic Church
and so he felt the urge to uncover the “double life” of religious
leaders.
“The aim is not to hurt the people mentioned, but to help them
understand that their souls life, however seemingly convenient, is not
useful to them or.to all the people for whom they should be a guide and
an example to follow,” he said in a statement.
The recent spate of High-Profile celebrities unexpectedly leaving their life has caused an unexpected peak in popularity.
This week alone, beloved British comedian Victoria Wood and eccentric Pop Icon Prince have left this mortal coil.
The Artist Formerly (when alive) known as Prince
Newcastle Housewife, Liz Spencer, had this to say on the legendary Prince:
"I'd never heard any of his songs before today, but as soon as I heard he died I realised I was actually a huge fan of his. I know he spent most of the last 20 years developing deeper and more unpleasant views with regards to those with 'deviant' sexual preferences and strongly opposed same sex marriage, but my gay brother agrees we don't care about this because he probably sung some really good songs. I listened to the Cyndi Lauper version of When You Were Mine on Youtube once and think I quite liked it. Besides which he's dead now, so he must have been a good person."
She can't do it
Less controversially, beloved by all, British comedian Victoria Wood.
American Sci-Fi fan, Brent Woodleson, opened his heart upon hearing of her passing:
"I'd never seen her in anything, heard her sing, or seen anything she'd written. But I knew she was responsible for the phrase 'ming-mong' becoming synonymous with 'Dr Who' fan. I know she said the phrase was in no-way derived from the frankly despicable slang term 'mong' which is a derogatory way to refer to the mentally handicapped, but frankly always thought she was full of shit and knew quite well what she was doing when she coined that phrase. Now she's dead, however, I realise she can't have been anything less than a complete Saint, and have ordered the DVD of Acorn Antiques: The Musical on Amazon."
The two aforementioned celebrities have been a long line in high profile deaths this year.
Black Star
All round good guy and everyone's favourite androgynous singer David
Bowie, also sadly passed earlier this year. Social media exploded, as
thousands of users who had claimed to have never heard of him before
suddenly declared he had been an instrumental figure in their personal
development.
David's Dead?
At the time he passed, his long-divorced ex-wife Angela Bowie was participating in Celebrity Big Brother. Due to a misunderstanding, when she relayed the information to fellow housemates, some were misunderstood into thinking it was one of their own, eccentric music producer and all round odd-ball David Gest, that had passed. In a cruel twist of face he himself would pass on shortly after the series ended. He was quickly re-assessed by all from 'oddball closet case' to 'much loved tv personality'.
You'll like this.....
Embittered UKIP supporter, ultra conservative, 'keep England English', cruel, unpleasant, and self-confessed hebephile who admitted to grooming and seducing underage groupies in the 70s, Paul Daniels, was quickly re-assessed as a 'natural treasure' by tabloids and the general public alike when he succumbed to a brain tumour earlier this year.
A spokesperson for the Sun said: "Paul Daniels had a hugely succesful entertainment show several decades ago. He sympathised with Jimmy Saville because 'you didn't ask the girls their age when you were trying to get them to sit on your lap' but it was all a bit of cheeky fun. The British public know true talent when they see it, and The Sun are confident they will overlook Paul's minor disgressions and join us in celebrating the great man."
WHY???!!!!
In addition to the above, actor Alan Rickman, 89 year old novelist Harper Lee, 85 year old comedian Ronnie Corbett, and numerous others have died this year.
Experts have advised that old age, disease, and substance abuse have been a common cause of celebrity death this year, and that normal, non-famous, civilians are also susceptible to the above, and have ALSO been dying this year.
You'll find Happy Hearts, and Smiling Faces, and tolerance for the ethnic races... in Denton
I have to admit, and it's never been a particularly popular opinion. But I've always loved Shock Treatment. The critical and commercial flop, fresh from the pulsating brain of Richard O'Brien, was a 1981 movie, and a sequel to the phenomenon that is The Rocky Horror Show.
Richard O'Brien's pulsating brain cage
Shock Treatment was awkward at times, sometimes with a hard to follow narrative and characters with questionable motivation. But boy, the songs. The songs, the songs, the songs. It was no Rocky Horror, but 'Shocky', as fans often affectionately refer to it, had it's heart in the right place. The budget may have been slashed so much it could hardly breathe, causing scripting and cast changes along the way, but when it got it right, it got it.... RIGHT.
Looks like they're having fun
But what gets it right, right, RIGHHHHHHHHTTTTTTT, is the new stage production currently running in the Kings Head Pub/Theatre in Islington.
Long have I dreamed and fantasied about someone, somewhere (well, preferably somewhere near where I lived) adapting this unloved and ostracised musical into a stage production. I wet myself on hearing the news (I'm always wet), and my doting Londoner BFF snapped up some tickets for me as a surprise present. After making the trek from Cardiff to London, I can say it was absolutely worth it.... with sparkly gold bells on.
Spearheaded by Richard O'Brien himself, and with the sick and twisted mind of director Benji Sperring at the helm, Shock Treatment:The Stage Show does not disappoint.
Well, helllooooooo!
Streamlining the storyline and cutting out the excess fat, Shock Treatment tells the simple and straightforward story of a married couple, Brad & Janet (Ben Kerr & Julie Atherton), who find themselves on a reality TV show that helps heal rocky relationships. For (reasons) this involves whisking Brad off to have some severe therapy, rather, Shock Treatment, as part of another reality tv show. And (reasons) Janet having a super sexy makeover (involving a Little Black Dress). The aforementioned reasons mainly being that station owner, hardcore capitalist Rupert Murdo- uh, Farley Flavours (Mark Little - Ozzie Everyman Joe Mangle from Neighbours), has plans for his shows to be the most watched TV shows evah in the history of television.
Mark Little looks frazzled
Mark Little is a revelation - I have to admit, I've only ever known him as Joe Mangle, and errr, himself (from his stints hosting the Big Breakfast) - so was completely unaware of his theatre credentials. Little doesn't have the best singing voice, so at times settles for talking in rhythm but, critically, this doesn't matter, and he completely nails it. Farley is a grotesque and cartoonish character, even more so than the screen version, and Little has the right amount of sleaze and charm in equal measures.
Mmmmm, sleaze
While Ben Kerr may have a relatively small role (in the film, Brad and Farley was a dual role - this is an aspect dropped from the stage production), he takes what he has and runs with it, and hearts (amongst other parts) were certainly a flutter when he inexplicably loses most of his clothes i the latter half of the show. As for his almost-but-not-quite-estranged wife, Janet.... Julie Atherton is... phenomenal. One thing that never sat quite right in the motion picture, was Jessica Harper's Janet. Sure she had the lungs, but Janet is a suburban housewife who unwittingly transorms into an awkward femme fatale. Harper seems more comfortable as the femme fatale and doesn't sell the suburban housewife bit very well. Atherton however.... nails it. Despite the plays silly and over-the-top nature, the audience completely buys into Janet's journey to femme fatale and back again as she re-asserts her love for her husband at the end. Oh, and she's got the lungs to rival Harper.
Janet is taunted by Mac
For me, though, the stand-out star of the show was Mateo Oxley as the camp, cheesy, Farley-obsessed TV host Ralph Hapshatt. In one of numerous changes to the story, Ralph's signature number becomes 'Thank God I'm a Man'. In the film, the humour of the number sometimes feel a tad sour as it is delivered by Janet's unpleasant, homophobic father, and as such can leave a nasty taste in the mouth. Here it becomes immensely enjoyable when performed, tongue-firmly in cheek, by the fantastically fabulous closet-case Ralph as he struggles desperately with his own sexuality. Oxley threatens to steal every scene he's in, even when he's in the background, you can guarantee there'll be a look or movement that will come close to stealing the attention away from whoever is the focus of the scene.
Oxley's Ralph - trapped in a transparent closet
Making up the rest of the cast are Adam Rhys-Davies and Nic Lamont (aka The Twins Macabre) as Riff Riff & Magenta expys Drs Cosmo & Nation McKinley, and Rosanna Hyland as Ralph's beard Betty. Hyland is as beautiful and talented as Julie Atherton is, which helps the whole cast come across as much more of a genuine ensemble rather than 'Leading Lady + Man + Others' which it so easily could have been. Watching the Twins as the incestuous brother/sister duo and one often wonders whether they were the bastard love children of Richard O'Brien and Patricia Quinn. The sleaze, filth and joi de vivre brought by O'Brien and Quinn in Rocky Horror was somewhat lacking in the film sequel, but Rhys-Davies and Lamont bring it... in spades.
Lock up your daughters. And sons. And pets.
As well as streamlining the storyline, the team also crank up the innuendo and drop in a few references to Rocky Horror, to give hardcore fans an extra thrill. It's a Rocky Horror sequel... so expect audience participation! Get ready to sing along, shout, and if you're very lucky you might have one of the gorgeous young things from the cast crawling all over your lap.
Not pictured: Little Black Dress
Packed with comedy, fantastic performances, and show-stopping musical numbers, Shock Treatment is an essential night out. Luckily the original run has been extended (though Mark Little who had other commitments has now been replaced with Pete Gallagher) so don't delay and get your tickets asap. If there's any justice in the world, this will be picked up by a major West End Theatre, to give the crew the 'treatment' they deserve. But in the meantime, get yourself down to the King's Head... I promise that you won't regret it.
After hours in labour (while the Daily Telegraph helpfully kept track of the exact time by using a counter on their website), Kate 'Duchess of Cambridge' Middleton-Windsor birthed a baby girl.
The as yet un-named girl (that for the time we'll call Oprah) follows in the footsteps of her Uncle Harry as 'the second one'. AKA the one that no-ones going to care about for her whole childhood, and who will quickly be shafted down the line of succession as soon as her older brother manages to knock some bird up.
And who knows, maybe she'll look as good in combat wear
The only thing that Baby Oprah is going to have going for her is that she will undoubtedly be pimped out in various ridiculous dresses before she's out of nappies. Her one edge over her brother is that all the UK trash-loids are going to be showcasing whatever the hottest coutour is for a toddler based on what Baby Oprah wears.
Blancmange realness
The possibility always remains that as Georgy Porgy gets older he might resent Baby Oprah's ability to get tarted up in faaaabulous outfits, but rest assured should he ever fancy trying on his Mummy's clothes as revenge the Royal Handlers will beat it out of him, like they so successfully did with his Great Uncles Andrew and Edward.
No Comment
Still, enough of this frivolous nonsense. Let's all rejoice that another fucking baby is born into the country's most dysfunctional family. As the papers and tv news are briefly diverted from the election campaign to focus on hours on end of people standing in a street whilst nothing happens. I'm sure Kate and Oprah will be home faster than you can say 'unelected head of state'.
Doctor Who! That thing of wonder! That British Cultural Icon that has graced the small screen for more than 5 decades (well, except for the odd decade and a half when it wasn't on).
Having recently enjoyed it's 8th series since the huge revival in 2005, it inexplicably remains as popular as ever with viewers in the UK, and beyond. Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman star as the 12th (sort of) Doctor and his companion Clara Oswald in the current series, as they face Daleks, Cybermen, and Victorian Reptilian Lesbians in their adventures through the stars.
Cuz there aint nothing wrong with Reptilian Lesbians
I have to admit, so far I'm not too sold on the current regulars. I wasn't the hugest fan of Clara when she first started, alongside Matt Smith's Doctor. Since the new guy has taken over, she's admittedly better than she was, but still has a way to go before I'd place the current TARDIS team amongst my favourites. So, I hear you ask, who would I place amongst my favourites? Well, aren't you lucky, as I have a whole Top 10 for you. What do you mean you're not interested? Just suck it up and read. You can get back to your Dapol Davros later.
10. The Fourth Doctor and Sarah Jane Smith (Tom Baker and Elisabeth Sladen)
"Why no, I'm not wearing any knickers"
Sarah Jane Smith has a somewhat iconic status amongst Doctor Who fandom. It's not hard to see why, during the original series she had an impressive run of 3-and-a-bit seasons between 1973 and 1976, and later on was the star of the first ever spin off from Doctor Who, 'K9 & Company', that ran for, er, one episode in 1981 (she would of course, much later, get a slightly more successful spin off series).
Don't ask....
Sarah Jane originally appeared in the first serial of Jon Pertwee's final season as the Doctor, "The Time Warrior", introduced as a plucky young journalist who stows away on the TARDIS as she searches for a scoop (story, not ice-cream). She continued with the Pert for the remainder of the season, until he transmogrified (or, regenerated if you prefer) in to grinning loon TOM BAKER. Taking the change in her stride as any journalist would, they picked up military surgeon Harry Sullivan (Ian Marter) who bounded around with them for Baker's first season.
Harry was only qualified to 'work on sailors'.
During her time with Pertwee, Sarah Jane was saddled with being a bit of a straw feminist. Whilst Who had seen strong female characters in the past, Sarah Jane was forced to be what showrunners Barry Letts & Terrance Dicks viewed as 'a feminist' mouthing off about women's lib whilst running away from Chewits Dinosaurs.
I like to chew-it, chew-it...
Once Baker had taken over the role, instantly it was clear that her rapport with the new Doctor was much stronger than with the Pert, however initially she had to share time with Harry, who's role amounted to being insulted by the Doctor and being patronising towards Sarah Jane. Once Harry had disappearred however, is when the magic happened.
After his first year getting settled into the role, Baker started improvising with his lines and actions, and encouraged Sladen to do the same. On screen, the two were clearly thick as thieves, and in the serial "The Seeds of Doom", the Doctor called Sarah Jane 'my best friend', the first time he had referred to any of his travelling companions in a such a way.
Now this is what two people having a great time look like
When Sladen decided enough was enough, she left the Doctor as he headed home to Gallifrey. Much later, in the revival series, Rusty D brough Sarah Jane back alongside David Tennant's Doctor, in which a romantic undertone was added that was never apparent before. As much as I love Rusty, that was one beat too far for me, as personally I like to remember Sarah Jane as the Doctor's best friend, rather than love interest, and that doesn't make them any less close. 9. The Tenth Doctor and Donna Noble (David Tennant and Catherine Tate)
Oooh, doesn't he look a right letch?
Rusty, Rusty, Rusty, oh we love you. But boy were you obsessed with the romance when it came to Doctors and their companions. After the first two seasons of the revival pushed the 'OMG! Doctor/Rose romance' angle, and the third pushed the 'OMG! Martha loves the Doctor but he thinks she's a horse' angle, he realised in Year 4 it was time to do something different. And doing that involved bringing back his one-shot companion Donna from the 2006 Christmas special, who at the time filled the 'LOL she's not good enough to be a companion and she doesn't fancy the Doctor, ha!' role. After a year of Martha touching herself and crying in a dark room whilst thinking of the Doctor, Donna was exactly what the audience needed.
"Shag me! Shag me! Please shag me! Waahhhh!"
In the first episode of Season 4 of the revival, "Partners in Crime", Donna found the Doc after spending the last year searching for him, following their exciting Christmas adventure. After they become entangled in shenanigans and Donna this time expresses her desire to travel with the Doctor, he informs her "I'm just looking for a mate", Donna, offended, bwilliantly (TM David Tennant) counters "You're not mating with me, Sunshine!".
Donna meets a Sontaran. Hmmmmm, something seems odd about this picture...
As the season progressed, Donna and the Doc became firm friends, and romance never entered the equation. Well, it did for Donna, only with other blokes. All good things must come to an end however, and after the fan-pleasing epic wank fest that was 'Journey's End', poor Donna ended up mind-wiped and unable to meet the Doctor ever again. Sort of. 8. The Fifth Doctor, Tegan and Turlough (Peter Davison, Janet Fielding and Mark Strickson)
Someone left the dry ice machine on
Peter Davison is known amongst Dr Who fans and casual viewers alike as the wet, passive, toast and margerine Doctor that replaced the legend that is TOM BAKER. What didn't help Davison and his bland performance was having to share time with 3, count 'em, three other regulars for the majority of his first season. You had the bland Doctor, the annoying brat (Adric) the personality void plank (Nyssa) and, thank God, the only interesting an engaging character, the brash, loud-mouthed Ozzie, Tegan.
That time of the month again
Viewers cried with joy when Adric was blown in to a million pieces and the Doctor claimed there was no way he could go back to save him (yeah right). But it was still a way to go before the Fifth Dr was to have a completely winning team. Of course, we all know that Davison had been lobbying to retain cardboard girl Nyssa as his companion, which led to Adric biting the dust instead of her. Davison insisted that Nyssa's character (what character?) was more suited to his Doctor than any of the other companions, and of course I'm sure this had nothing to do with any alleged extra-marital relations he allegedly may have allegedly been having with Nyssa actress Sarah Sutton. Allegedly. However, the man with a plan (and lots of Hawaiaan shirts) Dr Who's then producer JNT realised between Davison's first and second seasons that Nyssa was a complete waste of space and declined to re-new Sutton's contract when it expired, which led to Nyssa departing midway through a story arc and her infamously stripping down to her undies (but no-one was fooled, she still had no personality).
Slag
JNT resalised that if he was going to have a limp-wristed Nancy of a Doctor, the supporting characters needed to be strong. He already had Tegan, the ball busting bitch that was probably modelled on his secret Ozzie Drag alter-ego (you so KNOW that was a thing), so he thought he'd get another strong companion character, this time a male, make him a bit of a bad boy, and have him played by a young twinky actor in a schoolboy uniform.
I'm not insinuating anything... ahem.
And thus, Turlough is born. After spending his first three serials skuliking around and trying-but failing- to kill the Doctor whenever his back was turned, Turlough eventually became a firm ally of the Doctor (although he always seemed a bit shifty). The reason that the Dr-Tegan-Turlough dynamic was because, well, there actually was dynamism. Conflict was something that was rarely seen amongst the Doctor and his travelling companions, at least not since the early days. Not to this extent at least. Tegan often ended up at loggerheads with the Doctor, and Turlough gave her a second sparring parter. The fact that there was fiery sexual chemistry between Tegan and Turlough was also pretty evident, proven that when they spent the entire four episodes of Terminus crawling under the floor together, their scenes were the highlights of the story.
"Did we just?" "Uh huh..."
Things were never cosy during their time together, and that is not a bad thing at all. The team is split up in what may possibly be the most dark and depressing Doctor Who story of all time - "Resurrection of the Daleks".
At the end of the adventure, Tegan leaves the Doctor for good. Not for
romance, not to further her career, not to help disadvantaged aliens but
because.... "too many good people have died today". And she walks away.
Whilst the current series is reveling in the new Doctor's 'dark' (sic)
side and Clara's uhmming and ahhing about how she feels, the atmosphere is never as genuinely uneasy as Tegan's simple exit from the series after 3
years as the leading lady on the show.
7. The Second Doctor, Jamie and Zoe (Patrick Troughton, Frazer Hines and Wendy Padbury)
Once upon a time, children, TV was in black and white!
In many ways, Patrick George Troughton had the hardest job of any of the Doctor Whos. He was the one who had to prove the radical (in a hip, 60s sense) notion of regeneration as a 'thing', that the character we'd grown to know and love (and more) could carry on with a different face and personality, and yet still essentially remain the same person.
Of course, we know in hindsight, what a fantabulous job he did do, and he was quickly accepted by 1960s kiddies and their parents in equal measure. So how about giving him a good team to work with too...
Troughton Team #1 (and some flaccid Daleks)
Troughton's first travelling companions he inherited from the arse end of his predecessor's era (that would be the era that finished, er, one week before his started). Ben & Polly were the series first attempt at showing 'cool' contemporary characters. Two hip swinging young, er, hipsters reflecting that were straight off of Carnaby Street and into your television screens every Saturday teatime. Despite, however, Michael Craze's dashing good looks as Ben, and Anneke Will's grooooooovy stylin' as Polly, the cats never quite gelled. Let's face it, Doctor Who in the sixties was not cool, and no amount of pretending was going to change that. Before long, however, the trio were to bump into a very uncool, very unhip and un-swinging (well, actually, that's a bit more debatable) geezer in 18th century Scotland. And that was Jamie McCrimmon.
Joe Orton famously wanked over him and wrote about it
Jamie had an instant rapport with the Doctor (well, I presume, his first serial is long gone) and it turned out that hip young trendy companions was, well, not what the Doctor ordered. Despite the fact that Frazer Hines subsequently spent half a century on Emmerdale Farm, and seemingly got trapped in the land of fiction and turned into Joe Sugden... Jamie remains one of the most well-loved and iconic of the original series' companions, and it's impossible to think of Troughton's Doctor without his loyal lapdog Jamie at his side.
No comment....
After Polly & Ben were bundled off at the quickest opportunity, the current powers that be must've thought 'contemporary companions don't work, historical ones do', as they quickly drafted in a young, upper class Victorian character, er, Victoria.
Frazer pulls Deborah off
Sadly, Victoria did nothing much but scream, be generally annoying, and be played by Deborah Watling, someone who's acting skills were akin to that of a licorice allsort. Troughton still didn't have his golden team. Luckily however, after Victoria screamed her way out of the series, she was replaced, not with another historical character, not with a contemporary character, but, get this, a FUTURISTIC character. Mind. Blown.
Zoe's, uh, "futuristic" outfit
Zoe blew onto the scene as a space-age librarian (don't ask) who joined the Doctor and Jamie after a run in with the groovy Cybermen. Zoe was like, super smart, and liked to show off as much in between screaming and parading her arse around. The addition of Zoe also helped turn Jamie into a more of a dumb-ass character, which was only a good thing. Whereas with Victoria, he would be drafted as the muscle/protector character, with Zoe as an intelligent and strong willed (for 60s tv anyway) woman, Jamie was able to embrace his comic double act role more with the Doc. The three together were an unbeatable team. The smart Zoe, the dumb Jamie, and the somewhere-in-the-middle Doctor. Oh how we cried, when they all left the series and the production team pulled a Donna Noble exit on Jamie and Zoe, 40 years before Donna Noble had a Donna Noble exit, and the two were dumped mind-wiped back in their own time zones. *sob*
6. The Third Doctor, Liz Shaw and Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart (Jon Pertwee, Caroline John and Nicholas Courtney)
No, it's not The Professionals, it's Doctor Who!
Several things, firstly, just to get it out of the way, Number 6 in my rundown of Top 10 TARDIS Teams isn't *technically* a TARDIS team, given that this team never did and travelling in the TARDIS. Of course, the reason being that for the entirety of Season 7 of the original run of Dr Who, that's the season featuring this line up, NO-ONE did any TARDIS travelling.
Oh what could have been. The penny-pinching production team of the time had already decided that the only way they were going to launch Dr Who into the exciting new universe of colour television was to slash the episode count in half and ground the TARDIS on Earth, so all stories would be a contemporary (ish) UK setting. Frazer Hines was already definitely leaving in Season 6, but the plan was to keep Troughton and Padbury, and team them up with the Brigadier and UNIT. Troughton quickly decided he didn't want to go on any longer, and with both her mates leaving, Padbury decided to do the same. It's easy to see though how Zoe would have automatically slipped in as the "Scientific Advisor's assistant" at UNIT, but in retrospect, it's pleasing she decided to leave with the others and remove any cosiness that may have been felt by her still hanging around.
Liz Shaw - This bitch means business
Liz Shaw in some ways follows in the Zoe model... with a keen logical and scientific mind, and the ability to talk down to the Doctor. What she doesn't have though, is the tendency to scream at several decibels for a few minutes every episode, nor the kooky future chick bit. She's a modern woman, she doesn't scream, she's Oxbridge educated and she doesn't take shit from anyone.
Pertwee gets in to prime 'cop a feel' position
At these early days in Pertwee's run as well, his Doctor is MUCH more appealing. Whilst later on he would be known for his incredibly patronising and over-bearing attitude to his female co-stars Katy Manning and Elisabeth Sladen, (and the less said about the rumours the better) his dynamic with Caroline John as Liz, is, well, much more respectful. It's not his show yet, and she's able to dominate him in their scenes together in a way he never would have let Manning or Sladen (or at least without seeing his classic "I'm really pissed off" look).
"How would you feel about the occasional, no-strings shag, Brigadier?"
The Brigadier at this stage in the show is also a much less cuddly character. OK, he's still pretty cuddly. But not quite as cuddly as he would later become. His and the Doctor's relationship is much less like the bromance it would descend into, and was a much more, shall I say, prickly affair than it would later become. The Doc shows little loyalty to the Brig and works with them because he has to. Their massive barny in the second serial of the season, "Doctor Who and the Silurians", becoming a thing of legend.
Ways to spice up your sex life...
The Golden Gang disbanded off-screen between Seasons 7 and 8, as Liz was written out by the powers-that-be for not being dumb or pretty enough. The Brig hung around on and off for the duration of Pertwee's run as the Doc, getting castrated in the process. Liz popped up twice again on TV screens, in '83s The Five Doctors (as a phantom) and in '93's Dimensions in Time (as a.... whatever they were supposed to be?). Watching the behind the behind the scenes footage of the 5 Docs leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. Pertwee treats John with nothing but utter contempt, and while he and Courtney remained friends until the end, it's an unpleasant glimpse of the man Pertwee had become, and a manner he never would have taken with either Manning or Sladen.
5. The Fourth Doctor, The Second Romana, and the Bitchy K9 (Tom Baker, Lalla Ward and David Brierly)
Not pictured: K9 (but why do you think she's grinning like that)
You know. I hate making statement's like "Lalla Ward's Romana worked with Tom Baker better than Mary Tamm's Romana did". I do. Because Mary Tamm was awesome. Like, seriously awesome. She was gorgeous, smart feisty, and generally amazing.
Faaaabulous!
But there's something about that indefinable chemistry that Lalla and Tom had together. That kind of chemistry that made them want to fuck like porn stars and have a fleeting post-series marriage. Tamm's Romana was great but had that kind of inaccessible, haughty air about her, like the best the Doctor would manage would be a sly wank over her used underwear while she was having a power shower.
Now THIS filthy bitch on the other hand...
Lalla's Romana was immediately more.... accessible, sympathetic, and fun loving than Mary's. She acted like travelling around with the Doctor was the most fun thing you could do in the universe. There's a reason why "City of Death" is one of the most loved stories of the original run, and that reason isn't Julian Glover covered in bubble wrap. It's an exciting adventure happening whilst the Doctor and Romana are on a romantic holiday in Paris.
What Up, hoes!
For their first year together, the duo are occasionally joined by K9. But not just ANY K9, the good K9. Original K9 voice actor John Leeson declined to return for Season 17, and as such was recast with David Brierly. Brierly's K9 is a fantastic addition the series, imbuing the metal dog with oodles more character than Leeson, and, well, he can best be described as really, really bitchy.
Once Brierly left and Leeson came back in Season 18, the magic had gone somewhat. JNT and Christopher Bidmead had arrived to remove as much fun from the series as possible, and Tom Baker's Doctor lost much of his manic charm and became a much more depressing character. The spark between him and Lalla seemed to die on screen, and they were soon joined by everyone's favourite brat, Adric, and in turn they both left the series.
4. The Seventh Doctor and Ace (Sylvester McCoy and Sophie Aldred)
Radagast and friend
Now don't get me wrong. I LOVE Bonnie Langford. And I mean love. You gotta love an energetic, fierce, fiesty, ginger bitch like that.
Throwing shapes
BUT as Melanie in Doctor Who, she was served poorly by the powers that be. Giving her a crap ill defined character (Computer Programmer..... really????) and forced her to prance around being super positive and pour carrot juice down Colin Baker's throat. At the end of Sylvester McCoy's first year, Melanie inexplicably decided to ditch the Doctor and shack up in the far future with Bert from Mulberry.
Seriously, what the fuck?
Step in Sophie Aldred as Ace, a '16' year old girl who had found herself far away from Earth in the future on an intergalactic Iceland after apparently instigating a timestorm in her bedroom after playing around too much with things she didn't understand. She had a penchant for explosives masquerading as deodorant cans, and saying embarrassing things like 'Ace!' and 'Wicked!' and calling the Doctor 'Professor'.
And there wasn't' a wheelchair in sight
Despite the fact that Sophie Aldred wasn't the world's best actress, and in fact was clearly less an edgy teenager from a working class London estate and more a 20 something ex-stage school brat who had spent the last few years presenting programmes for pre-schoolers...... something between her and McCoy just clicked. Everyone may have been watching Coronation Street at the time, but if they hadn't, they would have seen the best Doctor/Companion double act since the days of Tom Baker and Lalla Ward.
I got da big guns now
As the series was cancelled around them, Ace had the most perfect ending of all companions, walking off into the sunset to experience countless more adventures. The original series would have been hard pressed to have developed an exit for Ace that was worthy of the character and her relationship with the Doctor, so leaving it to fan's imaginations was a fitting, if unplanned, gift.
3. The Ninth Doctor, Rose Tyler and Captain Jack Harkness (Christopher Eccleston, Billie Piper and John Barrowman)
Oooh, serious faces
It's time to cast your mind back to the ancient and hazy days of 2005. Doctor Who was a bad memory, a joke, and something that had no place on prime time British TV.... Until one crazy gay Welshman changed EVERYTHING and brought the show kicking and screaming back to the airwaves.
"Marvellous!"
Gone were the question marks, scarves, and stupid costumes that plagued the latter years of the original run, and in stepped leather-jacket wearing Christopher Eccleston. Sometimes moody, sometimes jocular, and always fantastic. Oh, and he's from the north.
"Lot's of planets have a north"
Rusty Davies knew what people liked, and he looked his cunning eye over the last time there was a regular series of Who on to see what worked and what didn't. Hmmm, mysterious Doctor, young contemporary companion straight off a council estate.... Except this time he made sure the companion didn't use ridiculous phrases like 'Ace!' and ensured someone was hired that could act, rather than prance around like they're presenting Blue Peter. And lo, Rose Tyler was born, as played by teeny-bopper starlet Billie Piper.
Because we want to!
Yes, amazingly enough, Rose Tyler acted and behaved like a real human. Something few of the supporting characters used to do in the original run. Eccleston and Piper worked 'fantastically' on scree together, despite what allegedly may have allegedly been happening behind the scenes. After a brief stint with "the companion who wasn't", aka Bruno Langley off of Coronation Street, the new series turned the dynamic duo into a fantastic, er, threesome.
And who wouldn't want a threesome with John Barrowman?
In the ninth episode of the series, whilst visiting London during the Blitz, the Doctor and Rose run into the enigmatic Captain Jack Harkness from the 50th century. Best not to ask really. The two instantly hit it off with Jack, well, Rose fancies him and the Doctor is annoyed by him, but nonetheless he remains with them for the remainder of the series, until he is mercilessly killed by a Dalek.
The bastard.
And, sadly, the dream team is broken up. Despite the fact that the three unquestionably worked very well together and had a unique dynamic, Rusty seemed unwilling to have a permanent cast featuring the Doctor and 2 companions. Whilst he would occasionally throw in the odd extra here and there, such as bundling Mickey onto the TARDIS to get rid of him, or a post-dead post-Torchwood Cap'n Jack making a return just to make Martha feel all moist, he seemingly wanted to stick to the one Doctor + One Female companion dynamic. It's a shame, not least because Rose became a much less interesting character once Jack disappeared and Eccleston regenerated into Tennant. With the younger-looking, prettier and doe-eyed Tenth Doctor, the relationship between him and Rose became a much simpler case of Rose sighing 'Oh isn't he dreamy' and melting all over the TARDIS console, rather than the more satisfying and interesting relationship present in the first series of the revival. And the less said about the life size breathing sex clone she ends up with the better.
2. The First Doctor, Ian, Barbara and Susan (William Hartnell, William Russell, Jacqueline Hill and Carole Ann Ford)
A simpler time. Where men were men and women wore wooly jumpers
Doctor Who: The Early Years. Of course, when Doctor Who started it wasn't the beast that we know and love today. It was a quaint, eerie little show about two schoolteachers who get kidnapped by a mysterious alien and his granddaughter, and get dragged into adventures across space and.... yes, even time itself.
Sieg Heil!
Its been said and trotted out sagely by anoraks, er, fans for decades but I'm going to say it here because it's true - the early years of Dr Who were much less the Doctor-centric and were much more of an ensemble. When the Doctor is a geriatric old fool it makes sense that he's not going to be the ballsy action figure that we demand today. Peter Capaldi may be the same age roughly as Hartnell was when he took the role, but Capaldi is played as a looked-after-himself middle aged body rather than a 'in-danger-of-being-embalmed-at-any-minute' type that Hartnell's Doctor was.
Is that formaldehyde I smell?
Ian and Barbara were incredibly endearing characters acting as audience-identification figures and often playing key roles in wrapping up the stories (once the Dr had deliberately made things go all tits up in the first place). They're the kind of people I imagine every middle class 60s child wanted as their parents. Defeating alien monsters with cardigans and then sitting down for a cup of tea and a read of the newspaper afterwards.
"Good news Ian, they've got strawberry Durex play in stock!"
And as for Susan... well, to be fair the less said about Susan the better. She may have been the Doctor's granddaughter but all she generally did was whine and be annoying. I probably prefer Vicki who was much less fucking annoying, but it seemed more magical to include the 'first line up' than the... second one.
So just, you know, get over it
I'm probably a bad Dr Who fan. In the long run I don't think anyone ever really topped these golden, halcyon days... that is, until...
1. The Eleventh Doctor, Amy Pond and Rory Williams (Matt Smith, Karen Gillan and Arthur Darville)
...This lot:
Serving Top Hat Realness
David Tennant may officially be the most popular Doctor Who in all of Who-dom, but by God by the end of his run he was a proper whiny little catchphrase shouting Bitch. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry", "Allonsy Allonsy" and "I am the Oncoming Storm Motherfucker". Etc etc etc
Seriously, just fuck off
When Matt Smith fell out of the sky into young Amelia Pond's garden it was the exact kick up the arse the show needed at that point. The zany and madcap Eleventh Doctor was a delightful contrast to Tennant's tenure as the, er tenth. Once Amy signed up to travelling with the Doctor, I'm sure there was a collective groan from ming mongs everywhere who were worried she was going to go the way of Rose and Martha and spend her whole time making doe-eyes at him whilst gently touching herself.
Just as well she'd never seen this picture
It soon started, Amy tried it on with the Doctor despite the fact that she was imminently due to marry her childhood sweetheart Rory. What did the Doctor do? Flick his hair and say "Oooooooh but I'm a time lord and you've got a boyfriend" whilst taking her on a visit to all the most Romantic places in the universe, flirting with her and generally acting like a massive cock-tease (well, vagina-tease)? NO BECAUSE HE'S NOT DAVID TENNANT! Instead he took her to her fiancée immediately and sent them both on a Romantic soiree in Venice (it wasn't his fault there were fish vampires there).
Screenshot from "Vampires in Venice"
Whereas the Rusty years gave us a Doctor who swooped in on a girl, took her away from her life and her boyfriend.... and made her realise how shit her life and boyfriend were and that she just wanted to escape.... here we see the Doctor swoop in on a girl, take her away from her life and her boyfriend and... make her realise just how awesome her life and her boyfriend is. And then they get married. And become the first married couple to travel together on the TARDIS.
And I'm pretty sure they were fucking like coked up rabbits
The dynamic between the group was like three amazing friends having amazing times together. OK, like a married couple and their amazing friend, having amazing times, but not like in a third wheel way.
Check shirts are cool
And of course, we also have the Doctor's on again/off again wife River Song (who is also inexplicably Rory & Amy's daughter) as a drop in character during this era. I'm one of those that absolutely LOVED Alex Kingston's portrayal as this fantastic character, and to be honest, most of the negative comments I've read online are just misogynistic tripe anyway.
Errrr, it's a sexually aggressive woman over 40!
Of course, the Ponds couldn't carry on for ever, and after an impressive 2 and a half series as the Doctor's besties, they went for good, trapped in 1950's New York. River soon stopped appearing aswell, and Clara became the Doctor's latest travelling companion. After several years and 2 Doctors.... I still haven't warmed to her. But then I still haven't warmed to Capaldi either. Oh well, maybe after another 50 years we'll have another line up to threaten the place of 11, Amy & Rory as the best TARDIS team of all time.
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